U.N.I.T.Y
After dolling up and heading to Notting Hill Carnival. I became curious about a piece of writing I felt compelled to write before my transition started. It concerned the music that resonated in my heart and soul but whose culture I always felt so distant from.
I heard people with a real voice talking of heart ache, struggle and the courage to be themselves. I started to think about the universal nature of struggle and rather than look for division to instead look for unity.
I am an outsider to the culture of the music I listen to, to the lives I live in my daydreams. I’m kept at arms reach from all that resonates with me. Only left with the memories of my mistakes and reminded that I am not wanted as I am by ignorant voices.
I make mistakes in all my decisions it seems, and I feel like I walk on egg shells through life. I worry about upsetting a careful balance and offending someone, but I need the space to make those mistakes so fragile is my sense of self, so repressed are my feelings and emotions, so timid is my true self.
While I search for my voice, I am left to embrace that which resonates with me. So much of my musical aesthetic appreciation comes from black music. I wonder if I can one day stop worrying about what that culture thinks of me and start to speak my mind with a voice as powerful and resonant.
(Source: coffeeandsnow.com)
